Aloha man!

HOW THE @$%&# ARE YA? I'M GOOD, &%$#@ GOOD.
SO AFTER %$&#@ BRILLO S.F. I WENT TO HAWAII. BUT INSTEAD OF @$%&#* FLYING I WENT BY SHIP, OR MORE SPECIFICALLY BY $%#&*@! FISHING BOAT.
YEAH MAN, I WAS A @$%&#* FISHERDUDE! I WAS @%&$#& RUNNING OUTTA MONEY IN S.F. BUT FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS @%&$#& JOB WHILE I WAS AT FISHERMAN'S @%&$#$" WHARF. THE DEAL IS YOU CAN GO TO HAWAII FOR FREE IF YOU HELP DO SOME @%&$#"& FISHING ON THE WAY.
THE WORK WASN'T TOO #$%&" HARD AND THE FISHERGUYS DRANK LIKE FISH (HAHA)EVERY %&$@&! NIGHT SO IT WAS MY &%$#@ KINDA JOB!
AFTER ARRIVING IN HONOLULU I THOUGHT I HAD BETTER GET SOME @%&$#*$ WORK 'CAUSE I NEEDED TO FUND THE REST OF MY TOUR EH?! SO I WENT TO WAIKIKI AND FOUND A COUPLE @%&$#& JOBS AS A BOUNCER IN A %&$#@* NIGHTCLUBS.
IT WAS *%$&#@% GREAT WORK AND PAID PRETTY WELL. I ALSO COULD GET FREE ALCOHOL AFTER WORK...@%&$# GREAT YEAH!!
I MADE LOTS OF FRIENDS TOO, BUT MOSTLY WITH THE PEOPLE I HAD TO @%&$*%& CHUCK OUT! AT THE FIRST PLACE I WORKED AT SOME PEOPLE GOT TOO ROWDY WHEN DRINKING SO THE %&$#@ PONCY MANAGEMENT ASKED ME TO THROW THEM @#$%& OUT. SO I PUT ON THE MEAN BOUNCER ACT AND ESCORTED THEM TO THE @$%#& DOOR, THEN TOLD THEM TO MEET UP WITH ME AT THE NEXT PLACE I WORKED AT WHICH WAS WAY COOLER.
THE OTHER NIGHTCLUB WAS @$%&# GREAT 'CAUSE I WAS BARTENDING AS WELL AS %&$#@* BOUNCING. USING MY EXTENSIVE COCKTAIL KNOWLEDGE I TAUGHT THE STAFF A NUMBER OF NEW DRINKS INCLUDING MY OWN DRINK 'THE NITRO'. 'THE NITRO' IS ONE PART VODKA, ONE PART OUZO, ONE PART GIN, ONE PART TEQUILA, AND TWO PARTS LEMON JUICE...$%&#@* BRILL DRINK!! AFTER WORK MY NEW MATES (THE GUYS I CHUCKED OUT OF THE PONCY BAR) AND I TANKED UP ON 'THE NITRO' 'CAUSE WE COULD DRINK FOR FREE. THE NIGHTCLUB OWNER WAS A $%&# COOL GUY AND HE USUALLY JOINED US.
ANYWAY, THE FIRST THING I DID ON MY $%&#@ FIRST DAY OFF WAS GO AND CHECK OUT THE LOCATIONS FOR THE %$#@&% GREATEST TV SERIES OF ALL TIME...YEAH MAGNUM P.I.!!!
FIRST I WENT TO THE KALANIANAOLE HIGHWAY TO CHECK OUT 'ROBIN'S NEST' BUT I COULDN'T GET IN THE $%&#@ GATE...$$%&$#@ IT!! SO I WENT TO THE ELK CLUB WHICH IS WHERE THEY MADE THE KING KAMEHAMEHA CLUB. I SAW WHERE RICK'S OFFICE WAS...%&$# GREAT!! I ALSO CHECKED OUT WHERE T.C.'S HELIPORT WAS.
I BOUGHT LOTS OF MAGNUM STUFF LIKE A HAWAIIAN SHIRT LIKE THE ONE MAGNUM WORE AND I GOT SOME MAGNUM SUNGLASSES TOO...COOL!
I WANTED TO RENT A FERRARI 308 LIKE MAGNUM'S BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY SO I GOT A FERRARI 360 FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS AND TORE AROUND THE $%&#@ ISLAND!! BRILLO!
ANYWAY, I WORKED AT THE NIGHTCLUBS FOR A MONTH OR SO THEN WENT OFF TO MAUI. $%&# GREAT PLACE MAUI...I'LL TELL YOU MORE LATER.
BRAGGHXXX!
CHEERS!

San Francisco

HEY DUDES!! HOW THE *@%$ ARE YA?!
I'M GOOD, AS %&$#@& USUAL!!
SO AFTER L.A. I HEADED OFF TO S.F. I RENTED A CHOPPER, JUST LIKE THE ONE @&%$# PETER FONDA RODE IN EASYRIDER...$&%$# BRILLO!!
LOCALS TOLD ME IT WOULD TAKE 6 HOURS TO GET THERE BUT I DID IT IN @%&$# 4!! YEAHHH!
ANYWAY, I GOT TO S.F. AND CHECKED INTO A @&%$#! CHEAP HOTEL. AROUND THE HOTEL THERE WERE LOTS OF STREET BUMS AND I QUICKLY MADE FRIENDS WITH THEM. EVERY NIGHT THAT I WAS IN @&%$ S.F. I SHOUTED SOME OF THEM TO DRINKS AT A BAR...BUMS ARE GREAT DRINKERS, AND *@%&$ GOOD COMPANY!
THE MAIN REASON I WANTED TO GO TO S.F. WAS TOO SEE &%$#*@ ALCATRAZ...I REALLY LIKE THE MOVIE 'THE ROCK' WITH NICHOLAS CAGE AND SEAN CONNERY...@%$&# BRILL MOVIE!!
ALCATRAZ WAS %$@#& GREAT. I BROKE AWAY FROM THE %$#!& INANE TOUR GROUP THING, AND RAN AROUND THE PLACE DODGING ALL OF THE @&%$# SECURITY GUARDS AND TOUR GUIDES...BRILL $%&# FUN!!
I ALSO CHECKED OUT CHINATOWN AND FISHERMAN'S WHARF BUT THEY WERE @&%$# BORING. SO I SPENT MOST OF MY NIGHTS WITH THE BUMS, OR 'MY CREW' AS I CALLED THEM!! YEAH, WE HAD A $%&@*!% GREAT TIME AND GOT KICKED OUT OF AT LEAST 20 *@&%$# BARS!! YEAHHHH!
SO WAS NEXT PART OF MY WORLD TOUR WAS HAWAII...TELL YOU ABOUT THAT NEXT TIME.
BRAGGHXXX...CHEERS MATE!!