Scotland and Ireland

YEAH, SO HOW THE %$&# ARE YA, YA BUGGERS?!
I'M @%$&# BRILLIANT!
SO AFTER @*%#% ENGLAND I HEADED OFF TO @&%$# SCOTLAND. ME AND MY DRINKING BUDDIES AT HOME WATCH %&$# MONTY PYTHON'S 'HOLY GRAIL' MOVIE DURING DRINKING SESSIONS SOMETIMES, SO I WANTED TO CHECK OUT THE %$&#! FRENCH TAUNTER'S CASTLE. &%$# GRRRREAT IT WAS. I WANTED TO DO THE @%$&# 2 COCONUT HALVES THING BUT IT WAS $#&% HARD TO DO WITH A JUG OF BEER IN ONE HAND! HAHAHAHAHA!
THE REST OF SCOTLAND WAS A @%&#$ NIGHTMARE! I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND A #$@%& THING THE NATIVES SAID. SO I @%&#$ CUT MY TRIP SHORT AND WENT OVER TO IRELAND.
$#%&@ EXCELLENT PLACE! THE IRISH TALK @%&$ FUNNY TOO BUT I CAN UNDERSTAND THEM AND THEY ARE &%$# GREAT DRINKERS!
AND OF COURSE I WENT STRAIGHT TO THE @$%"$ GUINESS STOREHOUSE AND HAD A @%$&# GREAT TIME!
BRRAGHHXXX!
THAT REMINDS ME. MY GUINESS BEER FRIDGE IS ALMOST @%$&# EMPTY...BETTER TOP IT UP. I'LL HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY BEER FRIDGES SOMETIMES.
SEE YA LATER YA $%&# WUSSIES!

Stratford apon Avon

YEAH SO WHERE THE @%$& WAS I?
OH YEAH, ENGLAND. %&$$#@ A!
AFTER LONDON I &%$#@ HEADED OFF TO STRATFORD APON AVON TO #$%& CHECK OUT WHERE BILL SHAKESPEARE WAS BORN...*&%$!@ BORING!
BUT I DID CHECK OUT ONE OF HIS *&%$@ BRILLIANT PLAYS WHILE I WAS THERE...TWELFTH NIGHT, @&%$!# GREAT!! I TANKED UP EARLY BEFORE GOING TO THE %&$# THEATER AND TOPPED UP DURING THE PLAY SO IT WAS FABS!
MET A COUPLE OF OTHER DRUNK &@*$# BILL FANS THERE AND WE WENT OUT DRINKING AFTER. WE DISCUSSED SHAKESPEARE AND WORLD POLTICS...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YEAH RIGHT!
WE TALKED BRIT BEER AND WILLIE NELSON...GOOD @$%&#" DRINKING PARTNERS!!
BRAGGHHHXXXX...AH, THERE GOES THE BODDINGTONS! %&$# BRILL STUFF!
CATCH YA LATER YA WUSSIES!

London baby!

HI, HOW ARE YA? I'M $#&% GREAT!!
SO AFTER @$%&# FRANCE I WENT TO ENGLAND, %$#@* BRILL PLACE!
I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO %$#@ GO TO ENGLAND, I LIKE SHAKESPEARE A @%$#& LOT YOU SEE.
AFTER A FEW @%$#" WHISKEYS SHAKESPEARE REALLY &%$@# MAKES SENSE...NO @&%$*# IDEA WHAT IT MEANS WHEN I AM SOBER! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
ANY @%#&% WAY, I @&%$# HEADED STRAIGHT FOR LONDON AND CHECKED OUT %$#!@ BUCKINGHAM PALACE...@&%$# BORING!
SO I STARTED MY WELL #$%@%& PLANNED PUB CRAWL!!
I STARTED OFF AT THE RED LION NEAR $%&#@ BUCKINGHAM PALACE AND DOWNED SEVERAL $%#&@" OUTSTANDING DEEP SHAFT STOUTS. THEN I %$#@!& HEADED OFF TO THE OLD BELL AND HAD A FEW $%#"@ EXCELLENT HARVIESTOUN OLD ENGINE OIL ALES...@%$&#" TASTY!
AND YOU WOULD NEVER $#%&@ BELIEVE WHO I @%&$# SAW THERE...SHANE MCGOWAN, EX-MEMEBER OF THE @&$%# POGUES, ONE OF MY %&$#@ ALL TIME FAVOURITE DRUNK DUDES ALONG WITH OLIVER REED AND GRAHAM CHAPMAN! @%&$" YEAH!
ANYWAY, I WILL TELL YOU ABOUT THE @$%#& REST OF MY ENGLAND TRIP LATER.
DRINK UP MATE!!