HEY THERE YOU %&$@* WOOSIES, HOW YA DOIN'?
BEEN @&%$# BUSY MYSELF, WORK HAS BEEN $%&#@* CRAZY SO I HAVE HAD NO TIME TO *#$%@ WRITE! MY LATEST JOB IS AT THE PUBLIC LIBRARY, I AM A @&%$# BOOKBINDER WOULD YOU *#$%@& BELIEVE!
THE MONEY IS OKAY, ENOUGH TO $%&#@* SUPPORT MY ALCOHOL NEEDS!! HAHAHAHA!
MY PREVIOUS JOB WAS AT A FUNERAL HOME, I HAD TO #$%&@* PREPARE THE STIFFS BEFORE THE Y WERE BURIED. $%&#@! A WHAT A JOB! THE PAY WAS $%&# AND THE STIFFS *@%&$# FREAKED ME OUT A BIT.
SO ANYWAY I WAS &%$#@ GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT MY WORK IN JAPAN. I TRIED WORKING AS A #$%&@* ENGLISH TEACHER BUT I WAS @%&$# FIRED AFTER 2 DAYS...THEY DIDN'T APPRECIATE MY %$&#@* EVERYDAY ENGLISH. I MEAN JEEZ, THE #$%&@ F WORD IS COMMON ENGLISH RIGHT? AND IT IS A $%&# USEFUL WORD RIGHT?! LIKE IF YOU ARE IN A PUB AND YOUR DRINK IS *#$%&@ LATE, YOU WOULDN'T GET RESULTS IF YOU %&$#@ SAID SOMETHING LIKE: 'I SAY, IS MY DRINK READY YET SIR!'...NO $%&#@ WAY!! IF YOU SAID: 'HEY YOU, &%#@ ASS, WHERE THE &%#@ IS MY &%#@*! DRINK??'...NOW THEN YOU WOULD GET RESULTS RIGHT?
SO NEXT I FOUND WORK AS A BARTENDER...@&%$# A!! MY KIND OF JOB! IT WAS IN A @%$#$ BAR FREQUENTED BY FOREIGNERS SO I MET ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE.
ON MY DAYS OFF I %&$#@* SPENT TIME CHECKING OUT BANDS AT NIGHTCLUBS...SOME %$#"@ GREAT MUSIC! SOME BANDS WERE REALLY EXPERIMENTAL, MY KINDA MUSIC!
TALK LATER EH?
$#%&@* GOOD ON YA!
Saturday, October 1
Friday, June 17
%&$#*@ HECK!
YEAH, HOW THE %&$#:@ ARE YA?!
GOOD MYSELF.
SO AFTER HAWAII I HEADED OFF TO %&$#*@ JAPAN, TOKYO TO BE EXACT.
AND %$&#@* $#!%&$ HECK, WHAT A %$&#"@ PLACE!!
IT IS HUGE AND %&$#@* NOISY. THERE ARE PEOPLE EVERY @*%$&%# WHERE AND THEY ARE ALL IN A &%$#@* HURRY!
ON THE FIRST DAY I HAD NO &%$#@* IDEA WHERE TO STAY. I HAD'NT %&$#@*$ SORTED OUT A HOTEL OR ANYTHING. SO I @:%&$# CALLED UP CRAZY KENICHIRO IN HAWAII AND ASKED HIM WHAT TO DO. HE CALLED HIS FRIEND KAZU AND I STAYED WITH HIM.
KAZU IS JUST AS $%&#@* WEIRD AS KENI!! HAHAHAHAHA!
HE LIVES IN CENTRAL TOKYO IN A @$%&# TINY APARTMENT. IT IS ONE `%&$#* ROOM WITH A LOO AND BATHROOM!
KAZU SLEPT IN THE CLOSET AND GAVE ME THE ROOM...VERY $%&#@* DECENT OF HIM.
HE SPEAKS SOME ENGLISH BECAUSE HE SPENT 2 YEARS IN HAWAII WITH KENI...1 YEAR OVER STAY OF COURSE! HAHAHAHA!
KAZU DOESN'T HAVE A `$%&# JOB BUT MAKES MONEY BY PLAYING MAHJONG IN THE MANY ILLEGAL MAHJONG GAMBLING PARLOURS. HE ALSO PLAYS A WEIRD %&$#$ GAME CALLED PACHINKO WHICH IS KINDA LIKE SLOTS. HE IS PRETTY %&$$#@ GOOD AT IT AND MAKES HEAPS OF DOSH.
BUT HIS MONEY DISAPPEARS REAL FAST CAUSE TOKYO IS #$%&@ EXPENSIVE. HIS TINY APARTMENT IN SHINJUKU COSTS 100 000 YEN WHICH IS $%&#@ 4 TIMES WHAT I PAID FOR MY WHOLE %$&#*@ FLAT BACK HOME!
AT NIGHT KAZU GOES OUT DRINKING SO AS YOU CAN @%&$# GUESS WE BECAME MATES INSTANTLY!
AND THE BARS ARE @*$%&#! FANTASTIC!! THERE ARE @*$%&# HEAPS OF THEM AND THE SERVICE IS @$%&#!* GREAT! THEY GIVE YOU FREE %&$@ SNACKS TO GO WITH YOUR DRINKIES AND A TOWEL TO WIPE YOUR GREASY ASS FACE!
THE DRINKS ARE EXPENSIVE BUT MONEY IS OF NO $%@* IMPORTANCE WHEN IT COMES TO DRINKIES RIGHT?!!
SO KAZU, SOME OF HIS REGULAR DRINKING BUDDIES, AND I WENT DRINKING EVERY @%&$#& NIGHT!
BUT MY DOSH WAS RUNNING OUT FAST SO I HAD TO GET A @%&$#* JOB.
SO I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT THAT LATER.
CHEERS YA $%&#@ MUGS!
GOOD MYSELF.
SO AFTER HAWAII I HEADED OFF TO %&$#*@ JAPAN, TOKYO TO BE EXACT.
AND %$&#@* $#!%&$ HECK, WHAT A %$&#"@ PLACE!!
IT IS HUGE AND %&$#@* NOISY. THERE ARE PEOPLE EVERY @*%$&%# WHERE AND THEY ARE ALL IN A &%$#@* HURRY!
ON THE FIRST DAY I HAD NO &%$#@* IDEA WHERE TO STAY. I HAD'NT %&$#@*$ SORTED OUT A HOTEL OR ANYTHING. SO I @:%&$# CALLED UP CRAZY KENICHIRO IN HAWAII AND ASKED HIM WHAT TO DO. HE CALLED HIS FRIEND KAZU AND I STAYED WITH HIM.
KAZU IS JUST AS $%&#@* WEIRD AS KENI!! HAHAHAHAHA!
HE LIVES IN CENTRAL TOKYO IN A @$%&# TINY APARTMENT. IT IS ONE `%&$#* ROOM WITH A LOO AND BATHROOM!
KAZU SLEPT IN THE CLOSET AND GAVE ME THE ROOM...VERY $%&#@* DECENT OF HIM.
HE SPEAKS SOME ENGLISH BECAUSE HE SPENT 2 YEARS IN HAWAII WITH KENI...1 YEAR OVER STAY OF COURSE! HAHAHAHA!
KAZU DOESN'T HAVE A `$%&# JOB BUT MAKES MONEY BY PLAYING MAHJONG IN THE MANY ILLEGAL MAHJONG GAMBLING PARLOURS. HE ALSO PLAYS A WEIRD %&$#$ GAME CALLED PACHINKO WHICH IS KINDA LIKE SLOTS. HE IS PRETTY %&$$#@ GOOD AT IT AND MAKES HEAPS OF DOSH.
BUT HIS MONEY DISAPPEARS REAL FAST CAUSE TOKYO IS #$%&@ EXPENSIVE. HIS TINY APARTMENT IN SHINJUKU COSTS 100 000 YEN WHICH IS $%&#@ 4 TIMES WHAT I PAID FOR MY WHOLE %$&#*@ FLAT BACK HOME!
AT NIGHT KAZU GOES OUT DRINKING SO AS YOU CAN @%&$# GUESS WE BECAME MATES INSTANTLY!
AND THE BARS ARE @*$%&#! FANTASTIC!! THERE ARE @*$%&# HEAPS OF THEM AND THE SERVICE IS @$%&#!* GREAT! THEY GIVE YOU FREE %&$@ SNACKS TO GO WITH YOUR DRINKIES AND A TOWEL TO WIPE YOUR GREASY ASS FACE!
THE DRINKS ARE EXPENSIVE BUT MONEY IS OF NO $%@* IMPORTANCE WHEN IT COMES TO DRINKIES RIGHT?!!
SO KAZU, SOME OF HIS REGULAR DRINKING BUDDIES, AND I WENT DRINKING EVERY @%&$#& NIGHT!
BUT MY DOSH WAS RUNNING OUT FAST SO I HAD TO GET A @%&$#* JOB.
SO I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT THAT LATER.
CHEERS YA $%&#@ MUGS!
Wednesday, March 23
Maui
HOW ARE YA, YA %&$@$ LOSERS?!!
SO MY NEXT STOP WAS MAUI, $%&#@% BRILLO PLACE!
MAUI IS QUIETER THAN WAIKIKI AND THER ARE @$%&# LOTS OF OUTDOOR SPORTS AND STUFF.
FIRST THING I DID WAS TO $%&#@* FIND A PLACE TO LIVE.
HOTELS OM MAUI ARE NO $%&#@* CHEAPER THAN WAIKIKI SO I GAVE THEM A MISS.
FOR THE FIRST NIGHT I SLEPT ON A BEACH AS I @$%&#* COULDN'T FIND ANY GOOD PLACES TO STAY. BUT IT WAS GREAT, REALLY WARM AND THERE WAS A BEACH BAR NEARBY SO I WAS STOKED!
THE NEXT DAY I FOUND A PLACE TO STAY. SOME @#$%"& RICH RETIRED COUPLE NEEDED SOMEONE TO BOAT-SIT WHILE THEY SPENT A %&$#@*& COUPLE OF WEEKS PLAYING GOLF AT A &%$#@* RITSY GOLF COURSE AND HOTEL, SO I TOOK THE JOB.
AND @%&$# A! WHAT A BOAT! IT WAS HUGE AND HAD A BATHROOM, GAMESROOM, TWO BEDROOMS, GALLEY, SUNDECK...THE %&$#@*$ WORKS!! BUT BEST OF ALL IT HAD A WELL STOCKED BAR! THEY SAID I COULD DRINK AS MUCH AS I LIKE...BIG #$%&@* MISTAKE!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
THEY @%$&$# KEPT THE KEYS SO I COULDN'T TAKE IT FOR A SPIN, @$%&# IT!!
I DECIDE TO GET ANOTHER JOB AS A SPORTS GUIDE. WHAT I DID WAS TAKE TOURISTS OUT ON VARIOUS SPORT ACTIVITIES LIKE $%&#!# PARAGLIDING, SNORKELING, MOUNTAIN BIKING, BANANA BOATING ETC. IT WAS AN EXCELLENT WAY TO DO ALL OF THE SPORTS I WANTED TO DO, AND GET $%&#@* PAID FOR IT!
SO WITH THE BOAT SITTING AND THE SPORTS JOB I WAS DOING PRETTY $%#& WELL!
I MADE SOME %$&#@* GOOD DRINKING BUDDIES AT THE LOCAL WATERING HOLES INCLUDING A JAPANESE OVERSTAYER BY THE NAME OF KENICHIRO, ALTHOUGH HE INSISTED WE CALL HIM 'BRADO ' AFTER HIS FAVOURITE HOLLYWOOD ACTOR! HAHAHAHAHA!
BRADO IS A @%&$# FUNNY GUY!! WE DON'T KNOW WHERE HE LIVES BUT HE TELLS US HE LIVES IN A CAVE NEXT TO THE SEA! SOMETIMES I HAVE SEEN HIM ON THE BEACH IN THE EARLY @$%&# MORNING WEARING ONLY A LOINCLOTH AND SCREAMING REALLY ANGRILY IN JAPANESE AT THE SEA!
I ASKED HIM WHY ONCE BUT HE JUMPED UP AND RAN OUT OF THE BAR SCREAMING!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
ANYWAY, I STAYED IN MAUI FOR 1 MONTH. BRADO TOLD ME LOTS ABOUT JAPAN SO I DECIDED THAT WOULD BE MY NEXT %&$#@*#& STOP.
SEE YA UGLIES!
SO MY NEXT STOP WAS MAUI, $%&#@% BRILLO PLACE!
MAUI IS QUIETER THAN WAIKIKI AND THER ARE @$%&# LOTS OF OUTDOOR SPORTS AND STUFF.
FIRST THING I DID WAS TO $%&#@* FIND A PLACE TO LIVE.
HOTELS OM MAUI ARE NO $%&#@* CHEAPER THAN WAIKIKI SO I GAVE THEM A MISS.
FOR THE FIRST NIGHT I SLEPT ON A BEACH AS I @$%&#* COULDN'T FIND ANY GOOD PLACES TO STAY. BUT IT WAS GREAT, REALLY WARM AND THERE WAS A BEACH BAR NEARBY SO I WAS STOKED!
THE NEXT DAY I FOUND A PLACE TO STAY. SOME @#$%"& RICH RETIRED COUPLE NEEDED SOMEONE TO BOAT-SIT WHILE THEY SPENT A %&$#@*& COUPLE OF WEEKS PLAYING GOLF AT A &%$#@* RITSY GOLF COURSE AND HOTEL, SO I TOOK THE JOB.
AND @%&$# A! WHAT A BOAT! IT WAS HUGE AND HAD A BATHROOM, GAMESROOM, TWO BEDROOMS, GALLEY, SUNDECK...THE %&$#@*$ WORKS!! BUT BEST OF ALL IT HAD A WELL STOCKED BAR! THEY SAID I COULD DRINK AS MUCH AS I LIKE...BIG #$%&@* MISTAKE!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
THEY @%$&$# KEPT THE KEYS SO I COULDN'T TAKE IT FOR A SPIN, @$%&# IT!!
I DECIDE TO GET ANOTHER JOB AS A SPORTS GUIDE. WHAT I DID WAS TAKE TOURISTS OUT ON VARIOUS SPORT ACTIVITIES LIKE $%&#!# PARAGLIDING, SNORKELING, MOUNTAIN BIKING, BANANA BOATING ETC. IT WAS AN EXCELLENT WAY TO DO ALL OF THE SPORTS I WANTED TO DO, AND GET $%&#@* PAID FOR IT!
SO WITH THE BOAT SITTING AND THE SPORTS JOB I WAS DOING PRETTY $%#& WELL!
I MADE SOME %$&#@* GOOD DRINKING BUDDIES AT THE LOCAL WATERING HOLES INCLUDING A JAPANESE OVERSTAYER BY THE NAME OF KENICHIRO, ALTHOUGH HE INSISTED WE CALL HIM 'BRADO ' AFTER HIS FAVOURITE HOLLYWOOD ACTOR! HAHAHAHAHA!
BRADO IS A @%&$# FUNNY GUY!! WE DON'T KNOW WHERE HE LIVES BUT HE TELLS US HE LIVES IN A CAVE NEXT TO THE SEA! SOMETIMES I HAVE SEEN HIM ON THE BEACH IN THE EARLY @$%&# MORNING WEARING ONLY A LOINCLOTH AND SCREAMING REALLY ANGRILY IN JAPANESE AT THE SEA!
I ASKED HIM WHY ONCE BUT HE JUMPED UP AND RAN OUT OF THE BAR SCREAMING!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
ANYWAY, I STAYED IN MAUI FOR 1 MONTH. BRADO TOLD ME LOTS ABOUT JAPAN SO I DECIDED THAT WOULD BE MY NEXT %&$#@*#& STOP.
SEE YA UGLIES!
Sunday, February 27
Aloha man!
HOW THE @$%&# ARE YA? I'M GOOD, &%$#@ GOOD.
SO AFTER %$&#@ BRILLO S.F. I WENT TO HAWAII. BUT INSTEAD OF @$%&#* FLYING I WENT BY SHIP, OR MORE SPECIFICALLY BY $%#&*@! FISHING BOAT.
YEAH MAN, I WAS A @$%&#* FISHERDUDE! I WAS @%&$#& RUNNING OUTTA MONEY IN S.F. BUT FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS @%&$#& JOB WHILE I WAS AT FISHERMAN'S @%&$#$" WHARF. THE DEAL IS YOU CAN GO TO HAWAII FOR FREE IF YOU HELP DO SOME @%&$#"& FISHING ON THE WAY.
THE WORK WASN'T TOO #$%&" HARD AND THE FISHERGUYS DRANK LIKE FISH (HAHA)EVERY %&$@&! NIGHT SO IT WAS MY &%$#@ KINDA JOB!
AFTER ARRIVING IN HONOLULU I THOUGHT I HAD BETTER GET SOME @%&$#*$ WORK 'CAUSE I NEEDED TO FUND THE REST OF MY TOUR EH?! SO I WENT TO WAIKIKI AND FOUND A COUPLE @%&$#& JOBS AS A BOUNCER IN A %&$#@* NIGHTCLUBS.
IT WAS *%$&#@% GREAT WORK AND PAID PRETTY WELL. I ALSO COULD GET FREE ALCOHOL AFTER WORK...@%&$# GREAT YEAH!!
I MADE LOTS OF FRIENDS TOO, BUT MOSTLY WITH THE PEOPLE I HAD TO @%&$*%& CHUCK OUT! AT THE FIRST PLACE I WORKED AT SOME PEOPLE GOT TOO ROWDY WHEN DRINKING SO THE %&$#@ PONCY MANAGEMENT ASKED ME TO THROW THEM @#$%& OUT. SO I PUT ON THE MEAN BOUNCER ACT AND ESCORTED THEM TO THE @$%#& DOOR, THEN TOLD THEM TO MEET UP WITH ME AT THE NEXT PLACE I WORKED AT WHICH WAS WAY COOLER.
THE OTHER NIGHTCLUB WAS @$%&# GREAT 'CAUSE I WAS BARTENDING AS WELL AS %&$#@* BOUNCING. USING MY EXTENSIVE COCKTAIL KNOWLEDGE I TAUGHT THE STAFF A NUMBER OF NEW DRINKS INCLUDING MY OWN DRINK 'THE NITRO'. 'THE NITRO' IS ONE PART VODKA, ONE PART OUZO, ONE PART GIN, ONE PART TEQUILA, AND TWO PARTS LEMON JUICE...$%&#@* BRILL DRINK!! AFTER WORK MY NEW MATES (THE GUYS I CHUCKED OUT OF THE PONCY BAR) AND I TANKED UP ON 'THE NITRO' 'CAUSE WE COULD DRINK FOR FREE. THE NIGHTCLUB OWNER WAS A $%&# COOL GUY AND HE USUALLY JOINED US.
ANYWAY, THE FIRST THING I DID ON MY $%&#@ FIRST DAY OFF WAS GO AND CHECK OUT THE LOCATIONS FOR THE %$#@&% GREATEST TV SERIES OF ALL TIME...YEAH MAGNUM P.I.!!!
FIRST I WENT TO THE KALANIANAOLE HIGHWAY TO CHECK OUT 'ROBIN'S NEST' BUT I COULDN'T GET IN THE $%&#@ GATE...$$%&$#@ IT!! SO I WENT TO THE ELK CLUB WHICH IS WHERE THEY MADE THE KING KAMEHAMEHA CLUB. I SAW WHERE RICK'S OFFICE WAS...%&$# GREAT!! I ALSO CHECKED OUT WHERE T.C.'S HELIPORT WAS.
I BOUGHT LOTS OF MAGNUM STUFF LIKE A HAWAIIAN SHIRT LIKE THE ONE MAGNUM WORE AND I GOT SOME MAGNUM SUNGLASSES TOO...COOL!
I WANTED TO RENT A FERRARI 308 LIKE MAGNUM'S BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY SO I GOT A FERRARI 360 FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS AND TORE AROUND THE $%&#@ ISLAND!! BRILLO!
ANYWAY, I WORKED AT THE NIGHTCLUBS FOR A MONTH OR SO THEN WENT OFF TO MAUI. $%&# GREAT PLACE MAUI...I'LL TELL YOU MORE LATER.
BRAGGHXXX!
CHEERS!
SO AFTER %$&#@ BRILLO S.F. I WENT TO HAWAII. BUT INSTEAD OF @$%&#* FLYING I WENT BY SHIP, OR MORE SPECIFICALLY BY $%#&*@! FISHING BOAT.
YEAH MAN, I WAS A @$%&#* FISHERDUDE! I WAS @%&$#& RUNNING OUTTA MONEY IN S.F. BUT FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS @%&$#& JOB WHILE I WAS AT FISHERMAN'S @%&$#$" WHARF. THE DEAL IS YOU CAN GO TO HAWAII FOR FREE IF YOU HELP DO SOME @%&$#"& FISHING ON THE WAY.
THE WORK WASN'T TOO #$%&" HARD AND THE FISHERGUYS DRANK LIKE FISH (HAHA)EVERY %&$@&! NIGHT SO IT WAS MY &%$#@ KINDA JOB!
AFTER ARRIVING IN HONOLULU I THOUGHT I HAD BETTER GET SOME @%&$#*$ WORK 'CAUSE I NEEDED TO FUND THE REST OF MY TOUR EH?! SO I WENT TO WAIKIKI AND FOUND A COUPLE @%&$#& JOBS AS A BOUNCER IN A %&$#@* NIGHTCLUBS.
IT WAS *%$&#@% GREAT WORK AND PAID PRETTY WELL. I ALSO COULD GET FREE ALCOHOL AFTER WORK...@%&$# GREAT YEAH!!
I MADE LOTS OF FRIENDS TOO, BUT MOSTLY WITH THE PEOPLE I HAD TO @%&$*%& CHUCK OUT! AT THE FIRST PLACE I WORKED AT SOME PEOPLE GOT TOO ROWDY WHEN DRINKING SO THE %&$#@ PONCY MANAGEMENT ASKED ME TO THROW THEM @#$%& OUT. SO I PUT ON THE MEAN BOUNCER ACT AND ESCORTED THEM TO THE @$%#& DOOR, THEN TOLD THEM TO MEET UP WITH ME AT THE NEXT PLACE I WORKED AT WHICH WAS WAY COOLER.
THE OTHER NIGHTCLUB WAS @$%&# GREAT 'CAUSE I WAS BARTENDING AS WELL AS %&$#@* BOUNCING. USING MY EXTENSIVE COCKTAIL KNOWLEDGE I TAUGHT THE STAFF A NUMBER OF NEW DRINKS INCLUDING MY OWN DRINK 'THE NITRO'. 'THE NITRO' IS ONE PART VODKA, ONE PART OUZO, ONE PART GIN, ONE PART TEQUILA, AND TWO PARTS LEMON JUICE...$%&#@* BRILL DRINK!! AFTER WORK MY NEW MATES (THE GUYS I CHUCKED OUT OF THE PONCY BAR) AND I TANKED UP ON 'THE NITRO' 'CAUSE WE COULD DRINK FOR FREE. THE NIGHTCLUB OWNER WAS A $%&# COOL GUY AND HE USUALLY JOINED US.
ANYWAY, THE FIRST THING I DID ON MY $%&#@ FIRST DAY OFF WAS GO AND CHECK OUT THE LOCATIONS FOR THE %$#@&% GREATEST TV SERIES OF ALL TIME...YEAH MAGNUM P.I.!!!
FIRST I WENT TO THE KALANIANAOLE HIGHWAY TO CHECK OUT 'ROBIN'S NEST' BUT I COULDN'T GET IN THE $%&#@ GATE...$$%&$#@ IT!! SO I WENT TO THE ELK CLUB WHICH IS WHERE THEY MADE THE KING KAMEHAMEHA CLUB. I SAW WHERE RICK'S OFFICE WAS...%&$# GREAT!! I ALSO CHECKED OUT WHERE T.C.'S HELIPORT WAS.
I BOUGHT LOTS OF MAGNUM STUFF LIKE A HAWAIIAN SHIRT LIKE THE ONE MAGNUM WORE AND I GOT SOME MAGNUM SUNGLASSES TOO...COOL!
I WANTED TO RENT A FERRARI 308 LIKE MAGNUM'S BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY SO I GOT A FERRARI 360 FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS AND TORE AROUND THE $%&#@ ISLAND!! BRILLO!
ANYWAY, I WORKED AT THE NIGHTCLUBS FOR A MONTH OR SO THEN WENT OFF TO MAUI. $%&# GREAT PLACE MAUI...I'LL TELL YOU MORE LATER.
BRAGGHXXX!
CHEERS!
Thursday, February 3
San Francisco
HEY DUDES!! HOW THE *@%$ ARE YA?!
I'M GOOD, AS %&$#@& USUAL!!
SO AFTER L.A. I HEADED OFF TO S.F. I RENTED A CHOPPER, JUST LIKE THE ONE @&%$# PETER FONDA RODE IN EASYRIDER...$&%$# BRILLO!!
LOCALS TOLD ME IT WOULD TAKE 6 HOURS TO GET THERE BUT I DID IT IN @%&$# 4!! YEAHHH!
ANYWAY, I GOT TO S.F. AND CHECKED INTO A @&%$#! CHEAP HOTEL. AROUND THE HOTEL THERE WERE LOTS OF STREET BUMS AND I QUICKLY MADE FRIENDS WITH THEM. EVERY NIGHT THAT I WAS IN @&%$ S.F. I SHOUTED SOME OF THEM TO DRINKS AT A BAR...BUMS ARE GREAT DRINKERS, AND *@%&$ GOOD COMPANY!
THE MAIN REASON I WANTED TO GO TO S.F. WAS TOO SEE &%$#*@ ALCATRAZ...I REALLY LIKE THE MOVIE 'THE ROCK' WITH NICHOLAS CAGE AND SEAN CONNERY...@%$&# BRILL MOVIE!!
ALCATRAZ WAS %$@#& GREAT. I BROKE AWAY FROM THE %$#!& INANE TOUR GROUP THING, AND RAN AROUND THE PLACE DODGING ALL OF THE @&%$# SECURITY GUARDS AND TOUR GUIDES...BRILL $%&# FUN!!
I ALSO CHECKED OUT CHINATOWN AND FISHERMAN'S WHARF BUT THEY WERE @&%$# BORING. SO I SPENT MOST OF MY NIGHTS WITH THE BUMS, OR 'MY CREW' AS I CALLED THEM!! YEAH, WE HAD A $%&@*!% GREAT TIME AND GOT KICKED OUT OF AT LEAST 20 *@&%$# BARS!! YEAHHHH!
SO WAS NEXT PART OF MY WORLD TOUR WAS HAWAII...TELL YOU ABOUT THAT NEXT TIME.
BRAGGHXXX...CHEERS MATE!!
I'M GOOD, AS %&$#@& USUAL!!
SO AFTER L.A. I HEADED OFF TO S.F. I RENTED A CHOPPER, JUST LIKE THE ONE @&%$# PETER FONDA RODE IN EASYRIDER...$&%$# BRILLO!!
LOCALS TOLD ME IT WOULD TAKE 6 HOURS TO GET THERE BUT I DID IT IN @%&$# 4!! YEAHHH!
ANYWAY, I GOT TO S.F. AND CHECKED INTO A @&%$#! CHEAP HOTEL. AROUND THE HOTEL THERE WERE LOTS OF STREET BUMS AND I QUICKLY MADE FRIENDS WITH THEM. EVERY NIGHT THAT I WAS IN @&%$ S.F. I SHOUTED SOME OF THEM TO DRINKS AT A BAR...BUMS ARE GREAT DRINKERS, AND *@%&$ GOOD COMPANY!
THE MAIN REASON I WANTED TO GO TO S.F. WAS TOO SEE &%$#*@ ALCATRAZ...I REALLY LIKE THE MOVIE 'THE ROCK' WITH NICHOLAS CAGE AND SEAN CONNERY...@%$&# BRILL MOVIE!!
ALCATRAZ WAS %$@#& GREAT. I BROKE AWAY FROM THE %$#!& INANE TOUR GROUP THING, AND RAN AROUND THE PLACE DODGING ALL OF THE @&%$# SECURITY GUARDS AND TOUR GUIDES...BRILL $%&# FUN!!
I ALSO CHECKED OUT CHINATOWN AND FISHERMAN'S WHARF BUT THEY WERE @&%$# BORING. SO I SPENT MOST OF MY NIGHTS WITH THE BUMS, OR 'MY CREW' AS I CALLED THEM!! YEAH, WE HAD A $%&@*!% GREAT TIME AND GOT KICKED OUT OF AT LEAST 20 *@&%$# BARS!! YEAHHHH!
SO WAS NEXT PART OF MY WORLD TOUR WAS HAWAII...TELL YOU ABOUT THAT NEXT TIME.
BRAGGHXXX...CHEERS MATE!!
Tuesday, January 11
L.A.
YEAH, SO HOW THE @*$$%#" ARE YA?! DOIN' GOOD HERE!!
AFTER @$%#" LAS DUMBASS I HEADED OFF TO L.A. AND IT WAS GREAT!
AT LEAST IT WAS GREAT EXCEPT THE DRINKING WHICH @%$#& SUCKED...ALL THEY DRINK THERE IS DOUBLE %$#@ DECAF LATTE BLAH BLAH BLAH. THE FEW BARS THAT I DID CHECK OUT WERE $%&# OVERPRICED AND FULL OF YUPPIES.
BUT THE REST OF L.A. WAS AMAZING. I WENT TO THE FAMOUS BEACHES AND SWAM NEAR WHERE BAYWATCH WAS MADE!! @&%$# AWESOME!!
I CHECKED OUT GEORGE CLOONEY'S STAR ON THE WALK OF FAME THING...GEOOORGIIIE!! *@$#% A!!
AND I TOOK ONE OF THOSE CHEESEY HOLLYWOOD RIDES WHERE YOU CHECK OUT THE MOVIE STAR'S HOUSES. I TANKED UP FIRST OF COURSE AND HAD ME A &%$@# GREAT TIME!!
BUT YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHO I SAW IN SOME PONCY RESTAURANT IN BEVERLY HILLS!
LUKE PERRY FROM BEVERLY HILLS 90210!! %$#@* A I DID!!
I MANAGED TO TALK TO HIM AND WE @*%&$# SLAGGED JASON PRIESTLY OFF LIKE CRAZY!! HAHAHAHAHA!
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. HE SEEMED TO LIKE ME SO HE INVITED ME TO A PARTY, SO I SAID @%$#* A I WILL GO!! THE PARTY WAS GREAT, QUALITY ALCOHOL AND LOTS OF FAMOUS NUTTERS!
I MET JENNY GARTH AND TORI SPELLING...WOW!! TORI WAS %$#@* FUNNY! GREAT DRINKER TOO!!
SEAN PENN WAS THERE TOO AND WE SLAGGED OFF MADONNA TOGETHER!! HAHAHAHA!
GREAT @$%&# PLACE L.A.!
ANYWAYS, I ALSO WENT TO EAST L.A. TO SEE JUST HOW %&$# TOUGH IT IS. WHAT A @%$# JOKE!! I WENT TO A CHEAP BAR THERE AND TWO RUDE LOOKIN' GUYS IN HAIR NETS APPROACHED ME ALL TOUGH LIKE. ONE SAID I LOOKED LIKE A MAN SO I DECKED HIM WITH A %&$# LEFT JAB...KNOCKED HIM OUT COLD!! %&$#@ WOOSIE! TURNS OUT HE WAS SOME GANG LEADER SO THE NEIGHBOURHOOD FEARS ME NOW!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I'LL TELL YOU MORE LATER.
CHEERS!
AFTER @$%#" LAS DUMBASS I HEADED OFF TO L.A. AND IT WAS GREAT!
AT LEAST IT WAS GREAT EXCEPT THE DRINKING WHICH @%$#& SUCKED...ALL THEY DRINK THERE IS DOUBLE %$#@ DECAF LATTE BLAH BLAH BLAH. THE FEW BARS THAT I DID CHECK OUT WERE $%&# OVERPRICED AND FULL OF YUPPIES.
BUT THE REST OF L.A. WAS AMAZING. I WENT TO THE FAMOUS BEACHES AND SWAM NEAR WHERE BAYWATCH WAS MADE!! @&%$# AWESOME!!
I CHECKED OUT GEORGE CLOONEY'S STAR ON THE WALK OF FAME THING...GEOOORGIIIE!! *@$#% A!!
AND I TOOK ONE OF THOSE CHEESEY HOLLYWOOD RIDES WHERE YOU CHECK OUT THE MOVIE STAR'S HOUSES. I TANKED UP FIRST OF COURSE AND HAD ME A &%$@# GREAT TIME!!
BUT YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHO I SAW IN SOME PONCY RESTAURANT IN BEVERLY HILLS!
LUKE PERRY FROM BEVERLY HILLS 90210!! %$#@* A I DID!!
I MANAGED TO TALK TO HIM AND WE @*%&$# SLAGGED JASON PRIESTLY OFF LIKE CRAZY!! HAHAHAHAHA!
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. HE SEEMED TO LIKE ME SO HE INVITED ME TO A PARTY, SO I SAID @%$#* A I WILL GO!! THE PARTY WAS GREAT, QUALITY ALCOHOL AND LOTS OF FAMOUS NUTTERS!
I MET JENNY GARTH AND TORI SPELLING...WOW!! TORI WAS %$#@* FUNNY! GREAT DRINKER TOO!!
SEAN PENN WAS THERE TOO AND WE SLAGGED OFF MADONNA TOGETHER!! HAHAHAHA!
GREAT @$%&# PLACE L.A.!
ANYWAYS, I ALSO WENT TO EAST L.A. TO SEE JUST HOW %&$# TOUGH IT IS. WHAT A @%$# JOKE!! I WENT TO A CHEAP BAR THERE AND TWO RUDE LOOKIN' GUYS IN HAIR NETS APPROACHED ME ALL TOUGH LIKE. ONE SAID I LOOKED LIKE A MAN SO I DECKED HIM WITH A %&$# LEFT JAB...KNOCKED HIM OUT COLD!! %&$#@ WOOSIE! TURNS OUT HE WAS SOME GANG LEADER SO THE NEIGHBOURHOOD FEARS ME NOW!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I'LL TELL YOU MORE LATER.
CHEERS!
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